I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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