your thong is hanging out like whoa
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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