This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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