i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Mom said you looked used
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize