lets start a swedish sibling band together
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
