I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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