We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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