I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
