i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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