i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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