I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
