there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
