No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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