rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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