If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
