The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
