Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
