if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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