Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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