my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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