Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
