Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
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Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize