Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
