Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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