does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize