It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
