Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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