just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
In America we eat man semen.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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