Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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