Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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