dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
