Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
