Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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