Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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