My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
