So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
