Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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