And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
