hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
