Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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