I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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