dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
