i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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