Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
