i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
