If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize