At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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