He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
