maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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