I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
