GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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