Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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