He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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