i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
