I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
