You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize