I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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