Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
