dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
