If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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