literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
