Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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