didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
