And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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