please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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